'TIS THE SEASON

Christmas time is almost upon us once again (sigh). While most people are busy preparing for the big day, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about the Christmasses I spent in the Philippines. The most memorable one, if not the best one, was five years ago. That was the Christmas when, for the first time, my family met my then boyfriend, now my husband. I have never been so happy in my life. They accepted him with open arms, party and all. I'm on top of the world, surrounded with people I love the most. I could have sworn I wished that day would never end .

That was also the last time I saw my brother. Five months after that glorious day , I received a phone call from my sister in law, which is very peculiar because she never calls. I knew something bad happened. And when she said it, I got the shock of my life. My brother was taken away from us on a scuba diving accident. He left a widow, 2 young boys, parents, a brother and two sisters. The worst fear I have has happened. Til now, everytime the phone rings at that time of night, my sister in law's cry would haunt me. We're all still trying to get over this. What's the worse thing that could happen?

Two years after that incident,on a Tuesday morning, my husband just left for work, when I received a text from my mother asking me to call asap. So I called . My father had a massive stroke that left him severely paralyzed. His brain function is now like that of a ten year old . Doctors did all their best and it left us almost penniless.The last time I saw him that Christmas, he was so full of life. Because of my brother dying, he became an alcoholic, and that's what caused the stroke. Thank God he's still with us though. Now, my poor mother has to take care of him, for the rest of his life. I admire her for having the courage and strength to look after him. Not to mention her faith in God! Can't help but feel guilty sometimes. Though I give them support financially, I could have been there helping her. But what can I do? I have a family, too.

Surely it can't be worse than this?

Five months after my father's stroke, I discovered I was pregnant. We were trying for some time to have another baby, a brother or sister to my three year old son. For an unexplained reason, at thirteen weeks, I had a miscarriage. I lost a lot of blood in the process and" I'm lucky to be alive". That was the doctor's words. Am I really? Because a few weeks after that, I began to experience panic attacks, depression and IBS . I'm not really sure which came first, but, one thing for sure, you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. Not a nice feeling.

And behold ! After a few months, I discovered I was pregnant again! He's a year old now actually, and he sort of made me happy again. Let me rephrase that, he did make me happy again, he is my salvation. He got rid off all negativities I was feeling.

Well, I'm on the mending process now, or I would'nt be telling you this. I would'nt have the guts to. I can say I'm a stronger person now. So if something bad happens again (I'm not tempting fate, mind you) I say BRING IT ON!

Anyway, Do you think I got the title wrong; surely it should be " Pining's series of unfortunate events". My point is, I'm just trying to remember the way they were (my father and brother) the last time I saw them, so full of life, give tribute to them. And now that it's Christmas time again, this memory will surely be an unforgettable one.

Happy Christmas.